Enjoy…
You might be new to the game of fatherhood if…
Today we’ve got a guest post from Michael Mitchell. My wife somehow found his blog, sent it to me, and we connected. Turns out he lives here in OKC. What a crazy small world.
Michael Mitchell is an (almost) thirty-something dad who blogs daily tips and life lessons for dads of daughters at lifetoheryears.com. While consuming copious quantities of life from a glass that’s usually half-full, he spends the majority of his days trying to balance his efforts to be a good husband & dad, a man of God, a professional raiser of philanthropic funds, and a defender of all things awesome. On the rare occasion he’s not tied up with all of that, he enjoys fighting street gangs for local charities and stuff like that.
You might be new to the game of fatherhood if…
I’ve noticed A LOT of groups on Facebook popping up lately around the idea of sharing common experiences about the town you grew up in with other people who also grew up there. My favorite is the “You know you’re from Gotebo if…” I don’t know if I’m more impressed that a town of 247 people has a Facebook group with 48 members in it or that a town that is only .77 square miles actually has a population of 247 people.
Anyhow… I digress. Seeing all of these groups and the things people are saying got me thinking about another shared experience that is fresh and new and really close to home for me right now: fatherhood.
The One You Need
Goodness. It’s literally been a month since I’ve even looked at this page. My bad.
It’s been a crazy month of absurdly hot weather (the hottest July on record here in OKC), launching a new company and getting ready for Noah to arrive in just a few short weeks (insert panic face). In other words, life has been happening.
Today, I’m back. And with a brand new song and video from Shane & Shane. I’ve been a huge fan of theirs since I was a junior in High School. In a 5 year span I probably attended no less than 20 of their shows (once even driving from Stillwater, OK to Waco, TX and back in the the same day, to watch them play a stellar show with Robbie Seay).
Anyway, the new song is for dads. And it’s good. Real good. Check out the song, video, and go buy their newest CD (and all the rest of their CDs if you don’t already have them).
What have you been up to lately?
Letters to Noah
image from studentbranding.com
Dear Noah
September 20, 2011. That’s the date that you will make your presence fully known into this world. The date that I’ll get to hold you. And see you. I can’t wait.
It takes some time for it to all become real to me. Your mom has to deal with you 24 hours a day. Growing, stretching, kicking. (Side note: Be nice to her. Carrying you around for 9 months can’t be awesome. And it’s hot. Really hot. Seriously, be nice.) But me? I see you through a monitor at random doctor visits. I see Mom’s stomach go crazy as you perfect your wrestling moves inside of her. But that’s it. To me, you are more of an idea.
And I love the idea of you. We finished getting your room ready this weekend. I think you’ll love it. I can picture rocking you to sleep in the chair. Watching you, peacefully asleep in your crib. You are right across the hall from Gabe, your big brother. He’s going to be a great protector and friend for you (though right now he still refuses to acknowledge your existence).
I think about you a lot. About what you’ll look like. What your personality will be like. I only have your brother to compare you to, but I know you’ll be different. I hope that’s especially true in your sleep patterns.
It’s a weird time for our family. I started a company last fall and have been trying to get that off the ground. I’m also in the process of starting another company. Yes, your Mom is the most patient woman on the planet. It’s been a stressful year for us, to say the least. But with you comes hope. Expectation. Joy. New.
You symbolize so much of what we are experiencing right now. Maybe most of all you resemble the meaning of your name: Peaceful. While nobody would describe having two boys as peaceful, we are at peace in knowing that God brings good things to His people. And he’s brought you to us.
He’s ushering in a new season. It begins with you.
I love you son. I can’t wait to meet you.
Daddy
What are adults without kids? (Louis C.K. with advice for dads)
Sorry for the lack of posts this week. Lots of craziness going on, so this has fallen to the side. We’ve scheduled Noah’s birth date for September 20….so keep that in your prayers. And Megan, because it’s hot. Freaking hot. So hot that we set an Oklahoma record in June for the most days over 100 degrees. And she’s carrying around a mini-human. Ridiculous.
I found this video on Father Apprentice a few weeks ago. It’s great stuff from funny-man Louis C.K. Enjoy.
What are your plans for the 4th of July?
The Presence of Dad
It’s easy to forget how important the role of Dad is. To get caught up in the day to day busyness and just go with the motions. Between episodes of Little Einsteins, sword fights, building towers out of blocks or reading books at night, we can forget just how vital our presence is. How much our physical presence is longed for and needed. Then we see something like this.
Here’s to never taking our role lightly.
Taking Daddy Back (by Rob Morris of Love146)
I got to hear Rob Morris speak while at !C Orphan. Rob is the Co-Founder and President of Love146, an organization that is about the abolition of child sex slavery and exploitation. To say I was inspired is an understatement. Rob is a guy you would go to war with. His passion is infectious. Check out what he has to say about taking daddy back. Happy Father’s Day.
I am a Father. I have six children who call me Daddy. It is one of the greatest joys of my life. Some days I’m good at it. Other days…not so good. I continue the daily journey, bumbling toward becoming a better man, father and husband.
Last year I saw a documentary called Very Young Girls, made by GEMS, one of my favorite organizations working to end the exploitation and trafficking of girls.
One of the most disturbing aspects of the film was seeing pimps recruiting and coercing young girls by pretending to initially take on the role of a boyfriend or worse…a father.
So many children have never known the love of a good father. Some have been hurt, abused, or abandoned by a father, while others continue to live with a father who is not really there.
Capitalizing on vulnerability, pimps and traffickers move right into that vacant place, even insisting at times, to be called “Daddy.” Luring girls with promises of “I’ll protect you.” “I’ll provide for you.”etc. And saying things that a real father was supposed to say but never did, like; “You’re special.” “You’re beautiful…”
While watching the documentary, I began to seethe inside. Through clenched teeth, I was saying under my breath; ”You are not a Daddy!” “You are a lot of things…but one thing you are definitely not…is a Daddy.” The idea that a pimp would claim and taint a word like “Daddy” honestly pisses me off. It is a word that I treasure because my children call me by that name. And when they do, it melts my heart, humbles me, and scares me with the responsibility that it carries.
During the documentary, I found myself asking questions. “Where are the fathers who will stand up to protect and defend the vulnerable?” Where are the fathers who by example, will raise sons who respect girls instead of abuse and objectify them? Where are the fathers who will cherish their daughters and empower them? When I see the daily devastation that men (and I use the term “men” very loosely here) have unleashed on children, I am undone.
The reality is, there are good fathers out there. I meet them everywhere I go. They come up to me with tears coming down their faces after I speak at an event. They approach me with angry voices, wanting to break down brothel doors…because they have daughters of their own. They give of their time, energy and finances to protect, defend, restore and empower. Some have even chosen a vocation that directly intervenes on behalf of vulnerable children.
So yes, they are out there. We just need more. We need to be brave enough, deliberate enough, loving enough…to take the name, “Daddy” back.
When the kids are away
Megan and I have hopped down to Dallas to get away for a few days. It is definitely much needed. No kid, no dog, just us hanging out. Sweet glory.
We dropped Gabe off Tuesday morning with my parents and we’ll pick him up on Saturday morning. That’s a total of 4 days away from him – by far the longest we have ever gone without seeing him. And it’s weird.
We find ourselves quoting him throughout the day. Sitting in the hotel last night the AC kicked on. ”Brrr, it’s told mama. It’s told.” (he’s working on his t’s)
Clearly we miss him.
We were home all day Tuesday, painting he and Noah’s rooms, and commented several times how weird it was not to hear his footsteps running down the hall. How quiet it was without his goofy laugh. We imagined what he was doing while hanging with my parents. Conversations that they would be having.
He dominates our thoughts. And I love it. I miss him like crazy, but I love how he creeps into our everyday thoughts and conversations. And though we’re having a great time, I can’t wait until Saturday morning.
What’s the longest you’ve ever been away from your kid(s)?
Why It Matters That Dallas Won the NBA Title
Unless you’ve been hanging out in a million-dollar abode in Pakistan (or you just don’t care about sports), you’re aware of The Decision. It was less than a year ago that LeBron James wasted an hour of our lives to display his lack of loyalty to Cleveland and inform us that he would take his talents to South Beach.
King James. The Chosen One. The Next Michael Jordan. The most talented basketball player on the planet. Rather than fight with the team he had (a team that had one over 60 games in each of the previous 2 season), he took a shortcut.
And it backfired.
When your 2 year old taunts you
At some point, I knew that Gabe would overtake me. He’d be able to fly past me for a lay-up, shove me out of the way for a rebound, take me down in a game of backyard football.
It’s one of those things that happens. For years we exert our dominance over them – many times with little effort involved. Slowly it gets more difficult. We start to “let them win”. Soon, we have no control. It’s over.
I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.
I didn’t think that, at age two, my son would roam the halls of our home after a sword fight, taunting me with “Who’s the baby now?! Heh heh heh!”
Or that this taunt would last for days on end.
Do you remember the first time you beat your dad at something?
