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The One You Need

Goodness.  It’s literally been a month since I’ve even looked at this page.  My bad.

It’s been a crazy month of absurdly hot weather (the hottest July on record here in OKC), launching a new company and getting ready for Noah to arrive in just a few short weeks (insert panic face).  In other words, life has been happening.

Today, I’m back.  And with a brand new song and video from Shane & Shane.  I’ve been a huge fan of theirs since I was a junior in High School.  In a 5 year span I probably attended no less than 20 of their shows (once even driving from Stillwater, OK to Waco, TX and back in the the same day, to watch them play a stellar show with Robbie Seay).

Anyway, the new song is for dads.  And it’s good.  Real good.  Check out the song, video, and go buy their newest CD (and all the rest of their CDs if you don’t already have them).

 

What have you been up to lately?

What are adults without kids? (Louis C.K. with advice for dads)

Sorry for the lack of posts this week.  Lots of craziness going on, so this has fallen to the side.  We’ve scheduled Noah’s birth date for September 20….so keep that in your prayers.  And Megan, because it’s hot.  Freaking hot.  So hot that we set an Oklahoma record in June for the most days over 100 degrees.  And she’s carrying around a mini-human.  Ridiculous.

I found this video on Father Apprentice a few weeks ago.  It’s great stuff from funny-man Louis C.K.  Enjoy.

 

What are your plans for the 4th of July?

The Presence of Dad

It’s easy to forget how important the role of Dad is.  To get caught up in the day to day busyness and just go with the motions.  Between episodes of Little Einsteins, sword fights, building towers out of blocks or reading books at night, we can forget just how vital our presence is.  How much our physical presence is longed for and needed.  Then we see something like this.

Here’s to never taking our role lightly.

Taking Daddy Back (by Rob Morris of Love146)

I got to hear Rob Morris speak while at !C Orphan.  Rob is the Co-Founder and President of Love146, an organization that is about the abolition of child sex slavery and exploitation.  To say I was inspired is an understatement.  Rob is a guy you would go to war with.  His passion is infectious.  Check out what he has to say about taking daddy back.  Happy Father’s Day.

 

I am a Father. I have six children who call me Daddy. It is one of the greatest joys of my life. Some days I’m good at it. Other days…not so good. I continue the daily journey, bumbling toward becoming a better man, father and husband.

Last year I saw a documentary called Very Young Girls, made by GEMS, one of my favorite organizations working to end the exploitation and trafficking of girls.

One of the most disturbing aspects of the film was seeing pimps recruiting and coercing young girls by pretending to initially take on the role of a boyfriend or worse…a father.

So many children have never known the love of a good father. Some have been hurt, abused, or abandoned by a father, while others continue to live with a father who is not really there.

Capitalizing on vulnerability, pimps and traffickers move right into that vacant place, even insisting at times, to be called “Daddy.” Luring girls with promises of “I’ll protect you.” “I’ll provide for you.”etc. And saying things that a real father was supposed to say but never did, like; “You’re special.” “You’re beautiful…”

While watching the documentary, I began to seethe inside. Through clenched teeth, I was saying under my breath; ”You are not a Daddy!” “You are a lot of things…but one thing you are definitely not…is a Daddy.” The idea that a pimp would claim and taint a word like “Daddy” honestly pisses me off. It is a word that I treasure because my children call me by that name. And when they do, it melts my heart, humbles me, and scares me with the responsibility that it carries.

During the documentary, I found myself asking questions. “Where are the fathers who will stand up to protect and defend the vulnerable?” Where are the fathers who by example, will raise sons who respect girls instead of abuse and objectify them? Where are the fathers who will cherish their daughters and empower them? When I see the daily devastation that men (and I use the term “men” very loosely here) have unleashed on children, I am undone.

The reality is, there are good fathers out there. I meet them everywhere I go. They come up to me with tears coming down their faces after I speak at an event. They approach me with angry voices, wanting to break down brothel doors…because they have daughters of their own.  They give of their time, energy and finances to protect, defend, restore and empower. Some have even chosen a vocation that directly intervenes on behalf of vulnerable children.

So yes, they are out there. We just need more. We need to be brave enough, deliberate enough, loving enough…to take the name, “Daddy” back.

 

Raising Passionate Kids

A local photographer here in OKC is a big fan of boats – specifically, sailboats.  He doesn’t just like sailboats, he’s passionate about them. He and his brothers have spent the last 8 months completely restoring an old sailboat.  They got to take her out for the first time recently.

Continue Reading…

Teaching your kids to lose well

Ronald Martinez/NBAE/Getty Images

Last night the Oklahoma City Thunder lost to the Dallas Mavericks, closing out the Western Conference Finals by losing 4 games out of 5.  It put a sobering end to an incredible season for the Thunder.

Most of you know that I’m from Oklahoma City.  I’m passionate (see: psychotic) about the Thunder.  There’s not much to dislike about this team.  It was crushing to see them lose the last 2 games in such heart-breaking fashion.

Continue Reading…

Are your kids your motivation?

Megan and I watched the movie 127 Hours on Monday night.  The only word I can use to describe it?  Intense.  Really, really, intense.

If you’re unfamiliar with the movie (trailer above), it’s a true story about Aron Ralson, a guy that goes hiking in the canyons of Utah by himself.  He descends a narrow passage, where a boulder breaks loose and falls on his arm, pinning him against the canyon wall.  He is trapped for 5 days (127 hours), with only a bottle of water and two burritos.  Eventually, he cuts his arm off in order to save his own life.

HE CUTS HIS FREAKING ARM OFF.

Continue Reading…

More Please

Today we have a guest post from my friend Al Di Salvatore.  Al has a stud little boy named Keane and has been married for 6 years.  He’s planting a church in Maryland, and he’s a lover of all things involving Philadelphia sports, bless his soul.  Check him out on Twitter and his blog.  Enjoy his post and show some love in the comments.

More Please

I am not a good prayer, but I want to be.

The times when I talk to God the most are the times in my life when things go wrong.

When I need something,
and to be honest,
when want something too.

I can sound like a real baby.

Speaking of baby…

When my son cries and makes a fuss,
I think to myself, “Yup, I can sound just like that.”

Lately he has been doing something that speaks louder than his cries.

It is something that gets my attention and my response.

My wife and I have been teaching him sign-language to help him communicate,
since he cannot form a vocabulary yet, other than Elmo, ball, and now hat.

The hand motions work well.

He moves his hands together in a point to say “More.”
and he has got that down especially when he wants Elmo cookies
(they are pretty good too, I have had some myself).

Recently he has learned to use the sign for “Please” (rubbing his stomach).

When he cries out of manipulation, not when he is hurt,
I have learned to tune it out until his crying spell has passed.

I do listen and respond when he motions the word “please.”

I cannot help it, compelled to answer his pleas.

The same way when he is crying for my attention,
there is this moment when he will just lift up his hands,
out of sheer desperation and surrender.

I pick him up,
carry him,
and kiss him.

I never understood why people would raise their hands in worship,
mostly I would do it because other people did it (or if there was a key change).

It is a spiritual communication that goes beyond cries and manipulation,
into a subtle language and a posture of the heart.

Maybe prayer is more about communicating with God,
than simply just trying to get his attention.

Maybe worship is less about getting what I want,
and more about surrendering.

Maybe this is what child like faith is all about.

Usually a Dad would want his son to be like him,

this time I have found myself wanting to be like my son.

 

Have you ever found yourself wanting to be more like your kid(s)?

I Love It When A Plan (Doesn’t) Come Together

Today we have a guest post by none other than Mr. Aaron Bird. Aaron is the proud husband to Shelly and cool dad to Lana and Ian.  They reside in sunny southern California where he works for a major theme park.  A self-proclaimed geek (though Shelly would agree), he plays Dungeons & Dragons, reads a lot of blogs, loves everything “tech” and volunteers at his church.  Also, he takes amazing iPhone pics.  Sometimes I open the Instragram app just to see what he’s posted.  Seriously.  Check out his post and show him some love in the comments.

 

I like being spontaneous (on my terms) and doing things on a whim.  I enjoy the freedom of not being tied to an agenda.   Other times I like having a plan, even if that plan is to do mostly nothing.  When a plan changes due to external forces like an unforeseen circumstance, I tend to grumble.  Just ask Shelly.

I planned the Monday after Easter to be my day, a day just for me.  I took the day off and the kids were going to be at Grandma & Grandpa’s house and Shelly was at work.  I had only one thing planned…to get the oil changed on the car.  The rest of day was probably going to be at Starbucks reading blogs till my eyes got blurry from squinting at a laptop screen for several hours.

So it was going to be me, myself & I.

Continue Reading…

Telling our kids about Osama Bin Laden’s death

Osama Bin Laden: Dead.  I watched President Obama’s speech last night (granted, it was an hour after I heard the news on Twitter – which is a story for another day).  I thought it was a great speech, carefully and respectfully worded.

I remember the first tweet I saw, coming from a CBS reporter.  I wondered if it was real.  Then ABC confirmed it.  Then NBC.  Then FoxNews.  Then CNN condemned other news stations for reporting on “wild rumors”.  Then CNN confirmed Bin Laden’s death.

Continue Reading…

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